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2011 Kiss holiday gift guide

gift shopping. If that includes you, and if you’ve got any Kiss fans left on your list, we can help. We’ve got “Kissmas” ideas ranging from small to big, cheap to insanely expensive, and from ridiculous to sublime. So get ready to burn through your checkbook like it’s ’Hotter Than Hell’ with our Kiss Holiday Gift Guide:

10 – ’Alive: 1975-2000’ Box Set
Let’s start with some music

Our Kiss holiday gift guide is going to focus mostly on merchandise, but if you want to induct new members into the Kiss Army, the place to start is with the music. This collection of live albums, including the immortal ’Alive!,’ its awesome 1977 sequel ’II’ and the makeup-less third set from 1993, also features the exclusive bonus of a 2000 show featuring the original lineup.

9 – ’Merry Kissmas’ Holiday Throw Blanket
Stay warm on cold Kissmas nights

Odds are you’ve probably got enough reindeers, snowmen and Santa Clauses stored in your Christmas decoration box already. So add some rock and roll spirit to your collection by draping this large, warm blanket featuring Ace, Gene, Paul and Peter in full (if not fully believable) angelic robes and poses.

8 – Kiss Rock and Roll Over Wall Mural
Some of us consider this fine art

Album covers don’t get much cooler (or more often imitated) than the circular art of the 1977 Kiss classic ’Rock and Roll Over,’ so it’s only a matter of time before our wife comes home to find this eight foot square slab of genius taking up the space currently wasted by wedding photos, vacation shots and vintage pictures of our grandparents.

7 – Gene Simmons Baby Shoes
For those all-important first steps into rock fandom

Got a friend who just got married? Are you more than a little worried that your former concert buddy’s gonna turn into a stay-at-home wuss? Well, remind him what’s important in life with Kiss onesies, bibs, blankets and of course, these demon-approved shoes!

6 – ’Destroyer’ “Starchild” Model Kit
Some assembly required

One of the newest items in the official Kiss store gives you the chance to re-create another famous album cover from the band, this time the 1976 studio masterpiece ’Destroyer.’ With some allegedly simple assembly (we always wind up gluing our fingers together, but if they say so) you can have your own 3D model of this classic image.

5 – Gene Simmons Inflatable Tongue
Stocking stuffer or gag gift?

OK, to be honest, this one isn’t really a serious suggestion so much as it is a “can you believe they actually made this?” inclusion. What focus group came back with the result “YES! The public must have a wiggling, inflatable replica of Gene Simmons’ tongue!” ???

4 – Swarovski Crystal Necklace
Your mother’s gonna (at least pretend to) love this!

We wanted to include something for that special woman on your Kiss holiday gift list, so here’s an affordable and shiny option for you. Granted, you’re not exactly going to hear “He went to Jared’s!” if you place this bauble under the tree, but if she’s a fan it’s classier than, say, a thong with Gene’s face on it.

3 – Kiss Ski Masks
Commit bank robberies the Kiss way!

OK, this joint is fully cased, you’ve got three accomplices and all you need now are some disguises. Voila! Good luck to the cops trying to track down the “cat, demon, spaceman and starchild” the bank tellers will describe in their robbery reports! OK, never mind all that. Seriously, how cool is it to be able to don any one of the four iconic masks without spending two hours in a makeup chair?

2 – Vintage Ace Frehley Poster
The spaceman in full smoking guitar glory

All four of the individual ’Alive II’ era Kiss posters are nice, but this shot of Ace mid-solo easily takes the prize for effortless cool. You could leave it unframed for that high school bedroom look, or frame it up behind a red curtain like the photographic masterpiece that it is!

1 – Kiss Pinball Machine
The best bonus a hard-working editor could ever get!

Bally made 17,000 of these beauties back in 1979, and it’s getting harder and harder to find someone both loving enough to have kept one in good working condition and still willing to let it go for a reasonable price. We’re determined to have one in the UCR offices someday!